Friday, September 4, 2015

Fairytale Feat. Catching up with life's pace

Hi VINnylectics, it's been quite a while since I last updated this blog. Sorry for having a dead blog but I will try my best to continue this blog. So, 6 months quickly blinked by and it's now September already. I had also ended my internship and finally regained my life as a student.
I remembered being really excited about internship that I nearly had insomnia. I anticipated a lot of things. I thought to myself and worried if my colleagues would like me or not. I also worried if I could get used to working in an office environment. Actually, I had always wanted to work in offices as I had always wanted my very own workdesk.
However, expectation vs reality is very different. I do not have my own workdesk. I was used as a cheap labour and was being ordered around by different people. I told myself that I should bear with all these if I want to maintain good rapport with my colleagues.
Other than that, since I am working in an international company with 90% of caucasians, I expect the office environment to be very friendly and everyone can put up warm smiles when I greet them. The truth turns out to be very unexpected. People looked away or gave me a silent response when I greet them. Politics everywhere in the company was also present. The boss don't like interns, but expect interns to put up a good show in front of everyone. Caucasians were also very fussy when it comes to decision making.
All these made me realise a lot. Being a working adult, you need to sacrifice a whole lot of your time. Let's take a normal day as an example. A working adult wakes up for work and prepares for work. He reaches office at 9am and works to 6pm. He then went home for dinner. Let's say take a break, bath and watch some tv programs. After that, he goes to sleep. This daily routine repeats for 5 days a week.
So, after all these, I still realise that I want to be a student as our timetable are more flexible. Sometimes we can be a lil bit rebellious to ourselves by taking a short nap during lessons :P. But while working, you can't do that because your work performance might be at stake. After lessons, we still can go out for shopping sessions with friends and even catch up during meals. That's why I feel very confined during the 6 months of internship. I am not someone who likes to wander around and party all night long. But at the minimum, at least let me have some break and not feel like a jail server who counts down to how many days until he can finally be free.
Now that I have finally finish with my internship, I can finally treat myself to longer hours of sleep each day. I also can continue my daily mission with my personal schedules such as my religious activities and also outings with family and friends. I am also preparing for my year end dance concert held at Hwa Chong Institution. That's when I can finally showcase my very own choreographed hip-hop dance.
On top of that, the one that excites me the most is my upcoming debut activities with my kpop crew members. I had always wanted to find a dance crew that can sing and dance and looks like I finally found one that was actually in front of me all along. One year ago, I actually brushed through this group of people in my school. One year later, 2 of the members(who are my friends) approached me to join them in their activities. I am glad I am now able to join them in their activities together.
So everyone, please keep a lookout for CUBIX!! We are now preparing for our future stages and I will debut with them as CUBIX's Jae!
Really hope to be able to bring more excitement for everyone out there. And with that, I shall end my post up till here. I shall be back with more updates soon! Annyeong!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Fairytale Feat. Alvin's Life~~~


Dear Diary, it's me again!
How are all my VINnylectics doing? Hope you are all fine? It's been a busy life for me, as usual. I really don't know when I can slow down my pace and take a nice deep breathe. Had a good talk with one of my VINnylectic supporter and you know who you are, Mr XiangWeiRouGan! HAHA. Though it's just a short dinner, I really had a nice talk with you, and having to learn more about you. Hope you knew more about me too.
Just like I had mentioned before, I barely could find anyone who would give me their time. I guess everyone's really busy with their own affairs and can't be bothered with mine. So for people out there who had given me your time, I honestly appreciate it! A big thank you to all of y'all.
Life's really something that could bring about ups and downs, and sad to say, mine should be the one that contains more downsides than the upsides. Pardon me if my English is really that bad, because my English standard isn't as high as what people expect it to be.
That is also why some people can't take it that I am a top scorer. They always tend to say things to me and they are like, "WOW! YOUR ENGLISH LIKE THAT ALSO CAN BE TOP SCORER ARH?!"
People tend to look at things on the surface and tend to neglect the behind-the-scenes part of the story. Right now, my GPA is standing at a cumulative sum of 3.93. I am not trying to show off anything but I just want to get it clear to everyone, that I did worked hard for my stuff and I did not cheat my way through! I don't get it why some people can just be so ignorant to this fact. It's not like I am some smarty pants or anything and I believe that everyone can do it. You just have to simply ask yourself whether you want it or not, and whether you want to sacrifice your time for other things just to settle yourself down and study or not.
I really can't hold it any longer and I might just collapse anytime. I am actually not someone who is strong enough to take all these. Although I am usually cheerful, it does not mean that I am a stress-free person. Many people once told me that they want to be me, but I only told them one thing.. "Are you sure you want to be me? You are not me, so you don't know what I had been through, just by looking at me on the surface."
Since young, I barely have friends and those friends that I had were usually the same few. I was actually being boycotted by the whole class in primary school. So I had been trying to get used to living and relying on myself. I don't like to be a burden to anyone or let anyone feel burden because of me. I don't know if there's someone out there who felt this way. But if I ever made you felt so burdened because of me, I am truly sorry.
This is also why I always like to ask people, "Are you fine? Hope I am not that boring for you to listen to...". I just need reassurance and acceptance from people.
I just want my readers to further understand me and hope you guys out there can just bear with me. This is also one of my only platforms that I could say everything out.
I wonder if anyone of y'all ever get curious about me. But if you are, here's something. I am a dancer and likes to dance. Honestly, I wanted to join modern dance when I was in secondary school. However, due to the fear of being a laughing stock out there, I was reluctant to join. In the end, I did not join any dance CCAs back in secondary school. I also wanted to join choir, but because of the same reason, I gave up this thought. However, I became a dance member when I enter poly because I have come to my senses that I should just ignore all those staring eyes out there and just do what I enjoy. And here I am today, proudly standing as a dancer. I major in latin dance right now, but life wasn't exactly easy for me because I got judged a lot. A lot of people were like, "THIS KIND OF STANDARD ALSO CAN DANCE ARH?!"
Again, I tend to get a lot of negative remarks from people regarding me and I am really really really tired about it. I just need a break from all these. Apparently, I had to face all of these alone because people are just targeting me. Life had never been easy for me and I am always a prey for other hunters. I can't just say it to anyone because I might get betrayed and left hanging out there all alone in the end. So what's the point in the first place?
The ones that I wanted to have attention from,usually can't give it to me because to XXX, a crowd is always better than one person. Many a times, I like to have small group times because we can really open up more and really become who we are.
Normally, I tend to get really lame and people tend to find me irritating. But please don't be, because do you know that all I ever wanted to do was just to make you guys happy?
Apparently, no one appreciates and thought of it this way I guess.
So let me ask you guys again. After all these, do you think you guys still want to be me? Not really, I guess.....
Here's a lil secret: I had actually cried through close doors many times and always smiled the next day to act like nothing happened because I don't want anybody to worry. But shhhhh......... don't say it out, cause nobody cares.
It's alright, cause I will be brave.
Bye! :)

Monday, January 12, 2015

My Fairytale Feat. Memories Of 2014~~

Hello to my fellow VINnylectics once again. Sorry for the disappearance act and that I couldn't update my blog. My schedules are very packed and I have had no time to update. Will keep updating this blog whenever I have the time.
Pardon me for bidding goodbye to 2014 after a long time. So, it's finally 2015. In this year, I welcome different challenges in my life and I promised to challenge them with all my might. I will step out of my comfort zone even further. Recalling back to 2014, I realised that I have completed quite a number of things and have grown further as a person. I am sorry that I am not someone who is very interesting and that if I ever came across to you as a person who is being very irritating, I'm truly sorry.
Life is full of ups and downs and this is surely inevitable. When you try to shy away from something, it will still appear no matter what. I don't know why I am typing all this right now but I really want to express myself.
Also, in 2014, I have realised that I am always living my life in accordance to how other people want me to. Everyone is so busy following social norms and that they no longer live their own creative life. I made a promise to myself that I should live my own life and stay true to myself. I want to create my own Fairytale that would only be directed by me and I am the author of this book titled "Alvin's Life Encounters"! Everyone is actually unique in their own way and we should not forget this little note to ourselves, which is to "live life without regrets".
Speaking about 2015, I have my bucket list that I want to achieve. Firstly, I want to grow further more as an individual and I want to contribute to the society in every way I could. I am currently a dance participant for the upcoming SEA Games 2015 which is occurring on the 5th of June. I am also planning to join my own religious dance group, famously known as SYDC. It specialises in hip-hop dances and I am ready to go for their audition. A lot of people who know me well should know about my packed schedules. So why am I still keeping myself so busy? Well, I believe that as youths, we should go all out and contribute in a lot of different areas. Time passes at an instant and it cannot be chased back anymore. I want to leave behind a remarkable history for myself as a youth and when I still could actively wander around.
Sometimes I will be very tired and I would wonder why are humans always so busy in life? It took me awhile to realise that it is actually a blessing to be able to be kept busy. This means that we are still healthy and would still be able to handle the stress we are constantly having. I would complain about being busy and that I would have no space to breath. But after awhile, I will pick myself up and stand up on my feet again.
I am trying very hard to change myself and I believe I would be able to do so! Please give me more time and patience. I really want to change myself for the better and I don't want to get affected by those that don't matter. There's a saying that goes " Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter".
Let's all strive to have a better tomorrow and have a better 2015 ahead. Cheers!