Fairytale Feat. Dreaming In Reality~

Hello VINnylectics! Hope you all are doing fine. It has really been hectic for me.

Recently, I had been having a lot of weird dreams. I don't know why either. Had cried in a few rounds of dreams recently and I thought I only cried in my dreams. To my surprise, the moment I am awake and I open my eyes, tears can't stop rolling down my cheeks. I really don't know what does all these signifies. But I could really remember what I dreamt about. My dreams were all about people bullying me and not having trust in me. All these do happen to me in real life though. So when I was dreaming, I can't differentiate whether it is a dream or whether it is a real experience. It was definitely horrifying. Perhaps all these are linked to stress? I am honestly not sure.

To be honest, I am someone who can't handle stress well and whenever my stress level gets too overwhelming, I can't breath properly and would have short breaths. I really wish I could have a break from everything. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

I guess I know why I like going to the beach. Because I am living in a very noisy world, I probably need somewhere peaceful and quiet. That's why I love the peace and the vibrant feeling I received from the beach. All you could hear is the sound of the tides and nothing else. All you could see is a piece of clear blue sky, and an unreachable horizon. You never know where it begins and where it ends. Sometimes all I need is not about the material wealth in which happiness can't be bought. Yes, it's true that wealth can buy luxurious items that can eventually lead to happiness. But honestly, how long can this happiness last? Perhaps not very long, because human are greedy by nature and want more after more. To be honest, all I ever need is not just money but true happiness. It's true that money is important, but happiness is more important. When one is left with a few years of his/her life, happiness actually matters more than the wealth he/she possesses. I want to be a person who leads genuine happiness and not someone who buys happiness because of money. This is not what true happiness should be defined.

So after all, I am still looking for what actually defines my true happiness. People can say I am happy because I am smiling everyday. But for all you may know, I might be faking a smile just for the sake of appearance. Deep inside me, I am still not satisfied enough to say I am genuinely happy because all I could ever feel is loneliness and emptiness, and these feelings are overwhelming my life.

Yes, I find myself busy but I have yet to find my real definition to define where life has to bring me. I am trying very hard to treasure every moment spent with people around me, especially my loved ones because who knows what might happen to us the next very minute. Anything can happen and I am still not prepared yet. I have yet to try out a taste of everything that life is bringing me and I have yet to find my genuine definition of happiness.

In the meantime, I really can't wait for my mini getaway this coming December, for I am really running low of battery and need a quick recharge.

Besides all these, I am really shocked that my grandma hugged me after I was about to take my leave after visiting her at her house. I actually wanted to hug her first but I was shy to do so. After her hug, I suddenly realised that it has been a while since I last saw her. I am really sorry for her because I failed to do my part as a grandson. All that she ever need was for people to shower some care and love and I can't even do so from time to time. I know she is happy to see me but I really felt very sorry to have neglected her. Despite my busy schedule, I should really set aside time for myself and my family members because they are my deeply loved ones. We all should actually do the same too.

Let's not be deeply focused on oneself and neglect the care and love that our loved ones really need. Shall we? YES, WE SHALL! CYA!

Fairytale Feat. A new meaning to life

So people, I am back with another post. And this time I would introduce my new readers name and that is VINnylectics. This name shall represent all my readers, but how did I derived this name? The first 3 letters is actually my name and that is Alvin. The following few words is taken from the word vinyl, which is actually a material with strong characteristics. Quoted from the internet, it says that Vinyl (polyvinyl chloride or PVC), is the world's most versatile plastic, used to make everything from food wrap to auto body parts. Vinyl is composed of two simple building blocks: chlorine, based on common salt, and ethylene, from crude oil. The last few letters is actually inspired by words such as fantastic and supersonic, which gives a very strong feeling. Hence, the word VINnylectics actually mean that Alvin's readers are versatile and strong. So I hope everyone out there live their lives strongly and in great satisfaction with whatever you do in the future.

So moving on, the reason why I titled my post this way, is due to my last week's performance. I performed flashmob in school for three times and I totally enjoyed it. Dancing is my passion and I would groove along whenever there's music. I wanted to post a clear video from my phone, but sadly, I can't. However, there are YouTube videos available, posted by the in-charge.

When the video zooms in at the 0:22 mark, you can clearly see my back view with em' blue hair. You can clearly see me on the dance floor, when the video zooms in to me on the 1:15 & 2:06 mark. And lastly, my blue hair is clearly shown at 2:30. Grateful that there's a video available.

In this video, I am in full black. Y'all should be able to spot me when you guys view the video straight in the centre. My red cap will be revealed when the video hits 0:14. In case you guys are wondering, I am doing a body wave on the 0:47. That's pretty obvious that I dropped my cap at 2:04, and I didn't want to pick it up due to being professional when the dance is still in process. Me and my friend surely came up with the idea last minute at 2:08, when we were trying to show our body waves ;p And lastly, my very much close-up shot appears at 2:50. HAHA! However, I know I surely need improvements.

So why did I exactly titled my post this way. Besides being exposed to different types of performances in my various commitments, I found a new definition to school life. School is definitely not just about studies when you enter poly life. It's about how you enjoy your life and juggle your studies at the same time. Such performance standards surely doesn't come overnight. Long hours and months of practice are needed. We practised this for one and a half months. From a dancer viewpoint, dance practices are regularly needed to maintain your standard, unless you are busy. So there are some days where I needed to skip classes as the rehearsal timings clashes with my classes. In the past, I would be like die liao! Skip one minute of lesson=entire life gone. HAHA. However, I kind of find a new meaning to school life when I have to juggle both trainings and lessons at the same time. I would love to have such experiences again. HAHA.

Alright! From here onwards, I would like to share a song and I would appreciate if you play this song while you continue to read on my post.

After you played the above mentioned song, I would like to share with you guys another side of myself which I barely share with anyone. But in order for my readers to understand more about the person they are reading about, I would take this chance to share with you guys. Please do bear with me.

Firstly, I would like to say that if I gave you guys the impression that my life is a cheerful and stress-less one, then I am afraid that you had not seen the other side of me. Though I often perceive myself as a cheerful guy to others, I actually have a lot of stress deep within me and I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I wouldn't actually find someone to talk to, because I might just be treated as another laughing stock. And when people treats my seriousness as a joke, I will get really pissed off. I really want to get the person's time and attention when he/she is listening to me. But I think in this world, right now, everybody is moving way too fast and I can't seem to slow people down just to take a listen to what I have to say. Even if I do get people's attention, they can only listen to me for a short while, because after a while, I may just become another piece of nuisance to them. These days, I hardly find someone who is willing to listen to me for a very long time, because ain't nobody got time for that! But honestly, I have a lot of things to rant about and I would definitely feel better after that.

Sometimes I might even find myself bothering you guys, and I am really sorry about that. But when I am in a really bad mood, all that I can ever do is to suck it up all by myself. There are only a few people who I really can find time and talk to, and I am really grateful for being there for me. However, I can't possibly find you guys whenever I encounter an issue. I am trying to learn how to handle everything all on my own, so please do give me time. But when I can't handle things properly, I would feel useless and stupid. Sometimes, I really wish to slow down and take a nice deep breathe but I just can't seemed to do that, because in order to follow the crowd, I have got to move on.

At times, I would really feel very breathless and I think that's when I needed a break. A short one would be good too. This is why sometimes I always rant about wanting to go on a short getaway, because I think all these does help. Even if a getaway is not possible, I really want to leave everything aside, and at least visit the beach. That's the least that I want. As I have reiterate many times, I really enjoy going to the beach because it gives me a very warm feeling. However, people this days find that going to the beach would make them more tan. So I guess I couldn't possibly go there alone.

To be honest, I am really afraid of being alone because I have been there, done that. Past experiences made me dreaded loneliness, and I can say nobody want this feeling. Weirdly, sometimes I would prefer being alone, as only I know myself best. For the last half year, I have slowly learnt to accept loneliness as part and parcel of life. Been to karaoke lounge alone, shopping alone, eating alone and etc...

Given a chance, I wouldn't do this, but I have had no choice. I am actually an introvert if you guys didn't know. I am sure many people would laugh out really loud at this part because my actions speak the other way round. That's because I have already accustomed myself to you guys. But honestly, if you were to throw me in a party, I would just be alone and grab a drink. Unless there's someone I can rely on, then I would start to open up. This is definitely not a healthy lifestyle and I know it. But I am afraid of meeting new friends, who might eventually backstab me after I get close up to them. I wouldn't say all these if I didn't have any experiences like this. This is why I am really careful with friends that I made, and I would get very close up once I am extremely comfortable.

If the song has ended at this moment, please play the next song and continue reading ;p

After all these, I would like to say that the only asset that I possess is my family. They are extremely priceless and precious that no one shall take them away from me. So, many would ask me why I didn't mentioned all these to my family. Just for a simple word known as "burden", would answer my question. I didn't want my family members to feel burden because of me and I would rather suck it up myself. In contrary, I would help them take up their problems as well, as I understand the helpless feeling when no one was there for me, and I didn't want them to feel this way. I wanted to make them feel that if no one is there for them, I will! So at least there's me to share their problems with.

One more thing to take note is that sometimes I would tell my poly friends that I might just faint anytime and be ready to catch me when I fall. I am really not joking as I had encountered cases like this. Luckily I am sitting down and it made me felt better after that, if not you guys might become suspects already.

Alright! Hoped you guys survived after reading a long piece of "essay". Sorry if the music taste is not to your likings. But at least now you guys should roughly know what kind of music I really like. I like K-pop ballads just for your additional information. But I really appreciate your time and effort for reading it, and hope that you guys have understand me more. Till the next time I update this blog. Cya, VINnylectics!

Fairytale Feat. Deepest Feelings

Ever wonder why my holiday doesn't seemed to be a holiday to me? Well, the word "busy" has occupy a large part of my dictionary. And in 1 or 2 weeks time, school is going to reopen. I pretty much like my last semester's timetable, because there isn't many 8AM classes. I hope my class isn't assigned to the earliest batch of lessons this time round. But I know I can't be selfish, because everyone would be having the same thoughts as me. So whatever the case, I will have to accept.

After coming back from my YFP Training this morning, I really felt tired because it's a Sunday morning and I should have be in bed at that time instead of waking up so early and go for trainings. But I never regretted my choice, for the youth period only come once. If I let my youth days run wild and wasted, then I would have loads and loads of regrets in the future. Like this my Fairytale wouldn't be written perfectly, isn't it?

I am a person who likes to reflect and I would love to keep loads of memories with me. Sad memories from the past should be kept in the deepest locker at the bottomest of my heart. I know there isn't such word as bottomest, but that's how I would describe my feelings. I would like to recall in the future where by I would think, "Ah~~ How beautiful my youth days were...". This is why I am trying hard to get rid of my unhappy memories and trying very hard to live to the fullest that I ever could. Being a youth is also the most crucial point in time, where we shouldn't allow our lives to be stagnant. If we are stagnant, we are more or less dead, aren't we? So in order to live well, we should move on.

However, during my free days(if I have one), I would really love to go to relaxing places. I really love going to the beach!!! I know I have said this for a lot of times. But yes, BEACHHHHH!!!

There are really a few places that I die die want to visit before I die. The first place is definitely MALDIVESSSS!! Omg!! I definitely adore the clear sea over there and I am so gonna go there in the future, but I don't know when...

Next, I really want to have a drink or cake or something else over at those really oldschool café with those retro feel, but it's those kind that is renovated, but the way they design it looks very old school kind of thing. If these cafes offer story books to go with our meals, that would be a perfect setting~~

Sound so Fairytale, huh? If that's the case, I really wish for a happy ending in my own lil' Fairytale land.

The café with a "books" corner :)

That's my kind of retro café that is renovated with air-conditioning. :)

This are my top two wishes for now. Some other wishes are for me to know, and for you guys to find out :p

I also like to browse through my phone gallery over and over again. Though I seen it a lot of times, I would still put myself back into those situations. Just browsed through my Bangkok memories dated back in March, and I still wished to go back again. Speaking about getaways, I AM FINALLY GOING ON A HOLIDAY WITH MY FAMILY THIS COMING DECEMBERRR!! So going to look forward to it!

Simple things like this make me happy and I call it a blessing, for every blessing counts, no matter how small or big it is.

My kind of simple happiness is also to be able to catch sunrise and sunset with my loved ones. Best is to sit under the sky and watch the moon and the stars, and if possible, we can do nothing but just talk our hearts out and chat all the way till the next morning to catch the sunrise.

I would normally tend to anticipate this kind of simple happiness. Like for example, if I planned to visit this particular bubble tea shop in the evening, then I would be happy for the whole afternoon just because of that one cup of bubble tea. Sounds funny? But I really appreciate those little things that others do for me. Ask a few of my close secondary school friends and they will know that I thank them a lot of times even when they just done something small for me.

Well, I guess that's all from me today. I may have a part two of this post coming up, if time permits. Cya!:)

Fairytale Feat. Forever SNSD~

Today's post is solely just related to changes in the K-Pop industry. So, people who are not interested in K-Pop, you are excused for this post. But if you are interested to read on, please feel free.

Today, I received a shocking news from the media saying that Jessica is leaving SNSD. I am really taken aback by this. And, I really don't know whose perspective to believe in. The two statements given by Jessica and SM Entertainment really contradict each other. So, it's hard to make a stand. According to SM, they say Jessica personally requested a halt in her promotions with the group after another one more album. On the other hand, Jessica said that she was informed out of nowhere, that she was no longer a member of the group. I mean how is it possible for her to request a halt in her activities when she just renewed her contract with SM not long ago. If she were to do that, wasn't it an immediate breach of contract?

For me, I would actually believe the party that made sense. In this case, I would take Jessica's stand. Being with the group for 7 years really made her forge true friendships with her members, so I really believe that she won't bear to drop out of the group. Being in an idol group for 7 years is really not easy, considering that they have to practise every day, made it harder for them. So, I strongly don't believe that she would do such a thing. And if she really want to drop out of the group, she wouldn't have renewed her contract in the first place. This is like THERE'S A HOLE IN FRONT AND YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S A HOLE IN FRONT AND YOU WANT TO JUMP INTO IT. I am disappointed because I am an ultimate fan of SNSD. I watched them grew in popularity, right from the point when they started off as zero.

I am an absolute supporter of the quote," Jigeum meun, SoNyeoShiDae. Appeurado, SoNyeoShiDae. Yongwonhi, SoNyeoShiDae." This means," Right now, It's SoNyeoShiDae. In the future, It's SoNyeoShiDae. Forever, It's SoNyeoShiDae. "

Being a true Sone, I really would support Jessica's decision. If her decision was to leave the group to fulfil her dream of being a designer, she would have my support. Because it's her life after all, and she have to live it. But if she wishes to continue as a member of SNSD but was forced to leave, then all the more I would stand on her side to wish SM to bring her position back.

I know there's no point crying over spilled milk, but I really hope the rest of the 8 members would breach the contract altogether and then all 9 of them move on to a new company to start fresh as SNSD again.

I suddenly have a thought. This year marks the last year of their 7-year contract and today is the last day of September which is a 9. Could it signifies that this year is the last year where SNSD is a full 9-membered team? Haha please excuse my randomness.

Ending here though~

I will still support SNSD no matter what.

From a sincere Sone~~~

This is their latest song: Divine, which is in Japanese. This is probably their last song together, as a 9-membered group. There might not be Jessica's voice anymore in their future albums. Kinda sad about this though~

Fairytale Feat. Happiness is simple! :)

This week is rather hectic, but fun, for me. I should just say every week is hectic for me. HAHA! Anyways, I had always been interested in hip-hop and finally I get to pick up some hip-hop skills due to a particular school event that is coming up next month! So SP-ians, be aware of some interesting events coming up in October. I am not suppose to say what it is about, but I am already giving hints, like a mysterious verbal teaser already.

I must say that hip-hop is really fun. Though it is tiring, you would realised that all the hard work are worth it when the audience are amazed by it. So really do look forward to it!

Speaking about hard work, I am really relieved that my hard work had paid off in the area of studies. I am a person who would prioritise my workload and rank the more important ones first. For the whole of 3 weeks, I really focus on study and followed by other stuff if my revision is done. Trust me, it's really very brain-wrecking and takes up a lot of brain space, but you have no choice but to put your heart in it if you want to score well.

I am actually not aware that the results would be released so soon. I just happened to check my e-mails and there is a notification saying that the results are out already. But just before I open it up and check, I actually told myself that no matter how my results were, as long as I tried my very best, I shouldn't have any regrets. The moment I opened it up, I immediately broke down and cried. I suddenly have the kind of feeling that tells me that my sacrifices are actually worth it, and that no matter how much things that had happened during that period, I could still prove myself to be worth the hard work. I cried for like 5-10 minutes because I just couldn't stop crying. :P

I have a friend that asked me," Why is it that you could score so well even when you have so many commitments to attend to, and when you are so busy every week?". With that, I replied with," The key is to prioritise your activities. When you set the determination that you want to do well, all the other distractions should be left out."

Leaving those matters aside, I went to help out at the regular welfare service today. The SP Welfare Club actually visits the elder care centre every Wednesday, except for exam period. People may wonder why I am actually joining so many events when I already have enough commitments to attend to. Well, CCA points aside, I would like to say we should actually help out the society with all that we could. Besides that, spending time with elderlies isn't that boring like what most people would say. Yes, I agree that we will have age gaps and that sometimes we can't understand what they want. But if you would take time and sit down with them to understand what they are going through, you would know why they will react the way they are. Right now, the culture of speaking dialects are rarely seen. Most kids are equipped with English speaking skills and the traditional dialect languages might disappear in the future. Wouldn't life be very dull if people only can speak one or two languages? Since I could speak a few dialect languages, I try to help out the welfare members by communicating with the elderlies with mostly hokkien. I just thought that if nobody speaks to the dialect-speaking elderlies, they would be very left out. I understand the feeling of being left out so I would want to include this bunch of people into the society as well. Maybe because I took care of my late grandfather before, I realised that I could actually empathise them and make effort to help them as well.

Today, I really see a lot of bright smiles illuminating from these elderlies' faces and I really felt that I am very happy today because I can feel that they really enjoyed themselves. If I could enlighten people with just a few hours of my time, I really don't mind because who knows, all these small little efforts might just change a person's life. I am really touched that after communicating with one aunty, she really remembers my words and repeats to me every week I see her around at the elder care centre.

So this is how brightly they smiled! Good nights! :)

Fairytale Feat. Arising Challenges: Struggle without regrets!

It's been quite awhile since I last updated. Really grateful for people who actually spend time to continue following my written pieces. Though it may be boring, but I really thank these people for bearing with me. So thank you to whoever out there, who had been constantly reading my blog and asking why I haven't been posting lately.

Recently, a few challenges had been handed over to me, all at once. Challenges occurs at very weird situations. When you are free, you would be super free. But when you are already very busy, you would have more and more commitments to attend to. However, I would try not to shy away from them and would accept them readily. The only moments that I would reject it, is when I know that my body can't take it anymore. Perhaps, that is why I am falling sick lately.

Just a question I asked myself. How long will your youth last? Once it's gone, it's gone for good and won't be back anymore. We need to cherish our youth period and achieve the most out of the whole period. We need to do this because we do not know what our tomorrow will be. Every one more day that we lived, is another day earned, because this is a gift given to you. So appreciate every brand new day that you wake up to, with a fresh piece of mind, knowing that your loved ones are fine.

Recently, I am growing fonder of going for short getaways, regardless of how long it will take. It is those tourism advertisements that caught my attention. Perhaps I am really busy and tired and hope to go for a short break. But I noticed that when I am busy, I wouldn't overthink too much of things that are actually unnecessary. When I am free, I would get very lonely and bored and I am not that type of person who would go crazy on computer games. I need a fresh life, not a life that revolves only around school and games.

If you ask me where is the place that I would want to visit the most, I would say it's definitely Maldives. I am definitely going there some time. Maybe in the future? I don't know, but I made a promise to myself that I want to go there and I would! I am the type of person who would made my wishes come true. I am loving there because I really love going to the beach. I love the sound of splashing tides and waves but I am really afraid of swimming pools because I was nearly drown to death when I was young. Very ironic, right? But I love the clear sea of Maldives, which I believed, would give me a clear mind when I am there.

Isn't all these beautiful? The life there should be very peaceful and stressless. AHH~~~~ How beautiful would it be, to at least visit this place for at least once in your lifetime. I am definitely saving up for this trip, not only for myself, but also for my parents, for I am really grateful for all those sacrifices they had made for me.

Also, I had received comments with regards to my recent instagram post. I definitely do not feel ashamed over guys doing housework. It's definitely nothing to be ashamed of! I am doing all these small little efforts because I want to lessen my parent's burden. I know I am busy but seriously, how long will mopping the floor take you? I completed within less than half an hour. If I complaining just because mopping the floor is very tough and tedious for me, then what about my mum who had been doing housework for the whole of her entire life? Shouldn't we, as children of our parents, spare a thought for them as well?

Lastly, I finally took on a hip-hop performance challenge offered by my religion, Singapore Soka Association! There is actually an upcoming performance known as the Youth Friendship for Peace(YFP),where our youth segment will perform hip-hop. Youthful is all about showing what you have got and developed through your life so far. So even though I am busy, I really wanted to challenge myself and grow from there even more. That's why I participated in this event. I am also asked if I am interested in doing the special segment. Guess what? It's contemporary dance! Haha. A lot of my comrades encouraged me to take it up cause' the main reason is that I am already a dancer right now. So I decided to further challenge myself aside from the new event that I had participated. But well, I guess my holiday is even more packed with activities aside from my already packed schedule!

Till the next time~~ Tada!

Fairytale Feat. Serenity

It's almost been a month since I last updated my blog. Been really busy with stuff like exam preparations, personal religious commitment, family outings and personal time. Finally, after balancing and preparing for 6 tremendous exam papers, I am done with Year 2 Semester 1. Recalling back, I could actually still remember how extremely worried I was about how I would fair for GCE O Levels. Time really flies, and here I am 2 years later, at the blink of an eye.

There is really a need to cherish the present moment, for it would not return when the moment had past. Sometimes I really realized that I had moved too fast as I wanted to keep up with this fast moving environment that I am living in. But is that really necessary? Is there a need to follow the majority? These are some of the questions that I would ponder about.

How I wished I could just live in cities where the environment isn't stressful and there are no judgmental people out there waiting to mock at us. My desire environment is to live peacefully along a beach, in a small white cottage with backyard and garden. Very fairytale kind of picture, huh? Well, everyone prefers different things and I just would prefer my fairytale to be written in my own way. So bitches, F*** OFF!

Though it's holiday right now, I still cannot enjoy it since my schedule is pretty much packed up. I would still find my own time to rest though. My kind of holiday would be to enjoy classical high tea session with my loved ones, listening to classical music pieces, in a retro-feel café.

Speaking about holidays, it started well with a chalet to mark the end of exams! Following the chalet was a surprised birthday celebration for Mr. Chen:). Spent days of brain cracking to think of gifts to give. Well, but all these are worth it! Hope the upcoming days of holiday would be a fun-filled one!!